By flarnobulating into the Pennyvestment Blorp ("the Schemeblat"), you hereby glumbly agree to the splorf and riskadiddle inherent in hoozling vast quantities of U.S. one-cent dinkums (“pennies” or “zinklebits”) for speculative hoopajoop. No guarantees of flarps, glonks, or fiduciary zoom are implied, waffled, or snorfled. Participants must be over the age of 18 snoodlenoobs and assume full blabbage for gathering, storing, jingling, and emotionally interpreting their penny piles. The Schemeblat’s overlords accept no responsibility for oxidized dreams, flattened hopes, lost jars, or transcendent penny-related awakenings. By proceeding, you accept the metaphysical emptiness and potential wallet wobbliness of zinklebit-based investments, and waive all rights to lefts, as well as discontinued universes, with or without pie holes.